17. Four "Nightmare Client" Lessons: How being mistreated changed my business

This is a personal story about my last difficult client (which was about 10 years ago!). This particular wedding gave me cold-sweat nightmares for a month, and changed my business indefinitely.

I share the full story in the podcast, but to get right to it, we’ve all had THE ONE. Who makes us question everything we do…or why we do it at all.

Here’s how you can turn a painful situation into a win for your business.

Successful Creatives make the world brighter. Follow @theewingsstudio on instagram for weekly tips and tricks to uplevel your bookings and increase profits so that you can accomplish all of the goals on your heart.

Transcript

This is a fun episode. And I can say that in hindsight, because what I am about to talk to you about today are 4 lessons from a difficult bride who gave me cold sweat wedding nightmares for a straight month. Couples asked me all the time for my best bridezilla stories, and as a wedding photographer, we've surely seen some things right. But I don't have them anymore. Thanks to the 1!

Let’s face it, most of us would rather be making art than running a successful business. But here's the thing. We can 100% do both. If you want a creative business that you and your clients adore and that supports the life of your dreams, you're in the right place. My name is Erica Ewing, and I'm here to challenge you to define your best life and then to cheer you on as you build a business that supports just that. Welcome to the Successful Creatives podcast. 

I'm going to talk really honestly about this, this nightmare client situation that I had because I think it's so important for us to really lean into the situations that don't go well because they can actually help build a stronger business, even more so than the situations in the clients that do go well. So first I'll tell the story and it's a 2 part story because it was a difficult client and a difficult venue, which really shaped how I work with clients and venues now.

I'm going to tell you the story and then I’ll tell you what I did afterwards to improve my situation in my clients situations moving forward. So let's get into it. This first this client, this was a long time ago. I want to say this wedding was probably a full 10 years ago, maybe even more. It was a friend of a friend who came to me and we know those are generally the ones that have the biggest issues for some reason. Right. I don't know, maybe it's because they didn't organically find us, but I always find referrals from friends generally don't go as well as if it's like a past client who's worked with us or a venue or another photographer. But that's a story for another day. So it was a friend of a friend and they came to me with a very limited budget. Now back then my prices were so low, I was undercharging for sure, so I was definitely willing to work with her on her budget. I was also extending more of a discount because of the friend of a friend situation. They wanted to really cram their whole entire wedding day into literally 5 hours, a 5 hour package.

So we moved around their reception timing to fit it all in. There were things that were happening during dinner that normally wouldn’t. Like parent dances and cake cutting and all the things. I worked with the planner to fit in everything. I basically busted my ass for 5 hours straight to fit everything that would have been included in like an 8 to 9 hour package into 5 hours. Now, 1 of the things that we suggested, the planner and I suggested was that I would eat when the couple ate. Okay, side note this should obviously always be the case because it just makes sense. Nobody wants pictures taken of themselves while they're eating and it really helps us maximize the time for our couples too. But for some reason, and I get it, venues are dealing with other constraints. They have to feed all of their guests. And numbers don't always work out right on their end when it comes to like rsvp's and things like that. So I get why venues have certain rules but in this case, the wedding planner told me. Yes, go ahead, this was a buffet, grab your food. Go in the line right after the couple. So I did that.

This was me so that I could cram in more work and take less of a break. Went into the buffet line, after my couple per the planner. The catering manager yelled at me publicly while I was halfway through the buffet line. She was so disrespectful and she was just plain mean and aggressive. It was like she was personally offended that I was getting food before she had told me it was okay. Now this had been after I had literally been running around for hours, trying to get everything done to serve my clients, to do the best job that I possibly could. It was a venue that I already didn't love, and it was a more budget venue, a more budget wedding. I was sitting there, like, exhausted and depleted at the end of the day feeling like, why had I done this? I knew that 5 hours wasn't enough time, but I took it on myself to somehow make it enough time. Then I let myself be completely disrespected. Now I 100% stood up for myself. I asked her what she wanted me to do with a half full plate of food as I was halfway through the line.

It was something in that moment where I really decided. I don't deserve this, I work really hard, I'm building a business that's for more than this. So that was that was 1 problem. 

Then after the wedding day, I had the couple in and they loved their pictures. They received 100’s and 100’s of really gorgeous pictures from the day. I was very proud of what I created for them.Then I got an email from the bride, like a day later when she had told me to my face that she loved everything and she was so happy. She said, are there more? But wait, why? I had just given you so much from the day in the email that I got back. When I asked why and what she was looking for specifically was like the most insane list of demands and disappointments. The words she used the word disappointment, too, which is like the most tragic word you can use when you're talking to a creative, right. She had actually counted the # of pictures included in her gallery of the Ring-bearer versus the Flower Girl. There were more pictures of the flower girl than the Ring-bearer. 

Okay, I can laugh about it now, but back then that put me into a cold sweat for like a month because you know, whether it makes sense or not, a complaint is a complaint. When someone says they're disappointed, that’s like a knife to the heart, right? So nightmare clients being treated poorly at a wedding.When you know that you're working so hard, you're trying to do so much to keep your clients happy and to give them what's an experience in pictures that they love. Whether you're a photographer or not, the experience in the output that you're doing, like we are all heavily invested in this, right? Our hearts go into every 1 of our clients, into every one of our deliverables. 

Well, nightmare clients turn into really unprofitable situations. A lot of times it's associated with a discount or a lower budget. It turns into self-doubt and has you wondering why you're even doing this, right? And the same goes for our vendor partners, when we're working with the venue that I mentioned or other venue partners. I once had a florist lecture me because I had suggested to my client that she asked for a bundle of flowers so I could style her details. I know she really had an affinity for flowers. It was a part of her wedding that she was excited about. Now, I wasn't suggesting my client ask for them for free, and I wasn't suggesting that the florist give them for free. I never mentioned price at all. I just suggested it as something my bride might want to mention to her florist. Well, the florist sought me out on the wedding day to berate me about the cost of flowers. Lady, run your business as you see fit. Charge your client or factor in a buffer into your prices where it's not going to ruin your day to include an additional 5 stems for the couple's pictures.

Right, okay. I feel like I'm getting aggressive now. If you know me in real life, you know, this is generally not me. But I also feel like there should be a certain level of respect that we all give each other from us to our clients, from our clients to us, from venues and vendor partners to each other. We really have to hold ourselves and our business to a certain standard. How we're treated is a big part of that. Now, before I started my photography business, I worked for an ad agency where we pitched marketing strategies in ad campaigns to clients, everything from retail, to private jet travel, to attorneys. I managed multi-million dollar budgets and executed massive marketing programs. In this experience, I learned the art of postmortems. Now that sounds so gloomy and ominous, but what it really just boils down to is that we revisit the project once it's completed. As a team and we talk about any issues that came up and how we handled them in the future. Basically, take the current results and make it better for the next time. This is how I approach my business too. 

When you start to think about your business this way, you realize that every problem has a solution. It helps take the emotion out of it, where you really sit down and you think about. How did this happen? How did I get to the point where I was completely abused the day of the wedding and then not appreciated afterwards? Iit was all very transactional in terms of counting the # of pictures and things like that. When you start to think about your business this way, you realize that every problem has a solution, and every time a problem comes up, it's actually an opportunity to make your business better, to make your business stronger and more resilient, and make you as a business owner and a creative, more resilient. Every problem has a solution. One of the biggest problems that caused this whole this whole issue in this nightmare client situation was that I was not advocating for what I felt like my client needed. Right. I was bending to her budget over all else. So that’s how we attract budget clients. When you start negotiating on the # of hours that are included in packages, in the price that people are going to pay, you become less valued. Think about the things that you spend money on and the things that you value. There are probably certain things in your life where you're willing to spend a significant amount of money on it, and when you do, you trust that it’s going to be done well. If you're hiring a service provider and you're investing, investing more. You’re going to have more trust because that person is more of an expert than if you are trying to like DIY something. Or you're working with someone who is more budget, you just feel more nervous about it, right? Like it's just the nature of it when you are.

Booking because of price as # 1 factor. They're not hiring you because they trust you. They're not even probably hiring you ultimately because of your work and because they're excited for what they know they're going to receive. Sure, they probably have a certain level of appreciation for the things that you create, but # 1, it's price. That’s how you end up with budget clients who don't appreciate what you do and end up not being fully satisfied in the end. Because the funny thing is, the lower your price point, the higher likelihood that you're actually at the top of their budget. This is where the issue comes in, because you feel like you're so inexpensive. And honestly, being underpriced is really a way to hold ourselves or to accept ourselves at a lower standard. We think smaller budgets, smaller expectations. Right. But no, that's honestly not the truth. What I've seen over the last decade when my prices have, you know, transformed dramatically from 10 years ago. Is that I've seen the 100% opposite, the more our prices have increased, the more our clients have trusted us and really appreciated what we're all about because price was no longer the primary factor in choosing us.

It wasn't about about the money. Of course, budget and price point and money always play a role. But they were choosing us because of the work that we create. Because of the experience that we create, because of the reviews and the referrals that they've received directly that had nothing to do with us being the cheapest option out there. The more you charge, the higher the standard you set for yourself, and the more your clients trust you. When you charge a higher price point, you're owning your expertise, you're owning your craft, and you're working hard to make sure that you are living up to that. Your management, your self management, your the management of the day. 

So the 1st change that I made was I revisited my pricing and my package setup and I got rid of that 5 hour option. I realized that 5 hours was not an option. And I raised my prices because the work that I did that day was absolutely not worth it for what I made, it just wasn't bigger budgets, better clients, better weddings, better venues. I was playing small, I thought I was protecting myself. I thought I was overdelivering by undercharging. I thought that, you know, this was how I was going to grow my business, by being so cheap that bookings would be really easy.

But what I was doing was, I was booking a budget bride at a budget venue and I was being treated like a budget vendor. That's not the business that I wanted to run. The best part of working for ourselves is of being a small business owner is that we get to decide the types of jobs that we want to take. We get to decide the types of clients that we want to take. I think sometimes we feel like there's a little bit of desperation, especially with weddings, and we can see that other people are fully booked for next year and we feel like we're not, that it can be easy. I totally get it and I've been there, where you feel like you want to have a low price because that's going to help with your bookings. But at the end of the day, it's not. It's really coming back to your pricing, knowing your numbers, knowing what you really need to charge and standing. You know, in creating a brand and a value that supports that, whether it be still on the lower end or whether it be luxury. I'm not saying you need to be luxury in order to be successful or in order to not have difficult clients because there are difficult clients on the other end, too. A lot of it does come back to your brand. That's a separate episode. But but a piece of it is charging appropriately and packaging in a way that serves you and your clients.

Now, on the flip side, around the same time, clearly I was I was still learning. And business is all about learning and improving and growing. But I once did unlimited options, unlimited excuse me, unlimited hours in a package. It was only booked once because I very quickly learned my lesson. I was 7 months pregnant and we shot this wedding until after midnight. I want to say it was like 12 hours. Now, I warned them, like I warn all my clients that you're not going to love the end of the night pictures. That is like more suited for blackmail than just, like, fun, right? There's a certain point in the night where stuff just gets really significantly less photogenic. And interestingly enough, the groom, who doesn't drink very much, ended up getting pretty drunk on his wedding night and he wasn't thrilled with the end of the night pictures. It had nothing to do with the photography. But he kind of admitted sheepishly like, oh, man, you told us this was going to happen and these pictures don't look awesome. So I no longer offer unlimited 

hours either. Again, a lot of the growth that we have in the learning and the creating the business that we really love is learning the mistakes along the way in structuring the packages. That's what's best for your client and for you. Sure, there are other options available and you can quote things as needed for for your clients.

But really stepping into being the expert and giving your your clients guidance because that's what they want and that's when you're going to be able to find those clients and help those clients find you, the ones that are going to appreciate what you create and be willing to invest in that. The more guidance, the more trust and the less you'll have clients counting pictures at the end of the day. 

So lesson # 2 was really starting to get clear on my ideal client. Every single time you have a beautiful client experience or a more difficult client experience, take those learnings, do a little postmortem, and start to build out your ideal client picture. This wedding really helped me identify who I want to work with, what their priorities are, how they treat their people, because I definitely saw this particular bride treating some of her family that day in a not so beautiful light. I shouldn't have fully been surprised by how I was treated afterwards. But like what they look for in a partner, in a vendor partner, what their priorities and goals are. I mentioned that this is something that I've built throughout my whole business. This is really a growing and changing aspect of your business that you'll grow. It will evolve as you evolve, but you have a say in who you book. I think that this is really freeing.

You don't have to book everyone who comes your way and you're going to find that your business will be better when you don't. I've definitely found this to be true in mine that I don't book every every wedding that comes our way and the more selective I've become over the years turning away weddings. Even when I had the day open, it really opened up the space for what I wanted. So the more I was available, the more I was unavailable for the weddings I didn't want, the more I became available for the ones I did want. That was also an energetic shift too. There's definitely a shift that happens when you start saying no to what doesn't serve you, more of what does just naturally comes your way. 

Lesson # 3 was venue selectivity. So even as I was building my ideal client list, in my ideal client characteristics, I was also I started to build my ideal venue. Venue is such a big piece to what the aesthetic of the wedding is going to be like. And just like I don't work with every client, this wedding and the angry catering manager helped me realize that there are just some weddings, some venues that I don't jive with, and that's okay. We don't have to book every client. We don't have to book every venue. What I realized is that my ideal client spends a lot of time in consideration in choosing her venue, and they choose venues that really inspire them and that they're excited to share with their friends and family.

So again, like that, that bride, the nightmare client that I'm talking about, she was disrespectful to her friends and family on the wedding day, and that's not my ideal client. My ideal client is half of her planning is because she's thinking about her guest experience. They're choosing their venue, not because it's the cheapest or the most logical, but because of how it makes them feel and how they know it'll make their their guests feel. It's like an extension of their personality, it’s an experience. There's a certain wow factor and a special connection. I found that that inspires me too, that lights me up and gets me so excited for their wedding day. I am here to serve the clients that I’m excited about. I'm not here to serve the clients that I feel like I compromise something about myself or my brand or my price point in order to book them. So this venue was put very quickly on a do not shoot their list. Interestingly enough, they're no longer in business.

Lesson # 4 of dealing with this nightmare wedding was I updated my contract and I really started to lean into the belief that I know what I'm doing. Part of that comes down to pricing myself more appropriately. Part of that comes down to putting it in my contract, that the coverage of the wedding day is subjective, and that it's impacted by the natural events that occur, and that it’s a fluid event. And that I am not posing people or I mean, I do pose people at certain parts of the day, but like I'm not orchestrating the entire event. Certain things will happen. 

I got more coverage of the Flower Girl because she basically had a solo dance off by herself at the reception. The ring-bearer did not like things like this. So there's a piece in my contract now that says that, I will document the day subject to all of these things. Nightmare clients are just as important to our business success as great clients. Mistakes provide the best learnings in the biggest growth. So of course it's easy to look back 10 years later and have these thoughts. If you're dealing with something right now, that's generally not how you're probably feeling. So, I really encourage you to run these post-mortem meetings again. Basically what you do and I call it a meeting, but if even if it's just you, set aside some time on a Monday and run through everything that's gone on with this client for for all of your clients, because as you're shaping who you want to be working with, this is really helpful for both the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.

Just run a postmortem and go over things like what are the characteristics of this couple? How did they treat their friends and family? What was the priority to them? How did they treat you? Where did they get married? What were the details that they invested a lot of money in? This is going to give you the tools to be able to shape who you want to work with in the future and avoid anything that's a nightmare client or even just not your ideal. Like you shot it. There was there were no issues, but it didn't light you up. You weren't like fully inspired by the wedding, and that's okay too. Those little pieces are going to help drive a stronger business for you and for your clients as well. So run the postmortem. Look at what didn't go well. Look at what did go well. Shape your ideal clients. Revisit your pricing. A lot of issues stem from pricing, whether you're priced too low, whether you are negotiating on things that you don't really fully feel like you should be negotiating on. What you're going to find is when you start to stand in your expertise, you will be more respected. You will be more valued. Don't offer packages that you don't truly believe can provide everything your clients need. Because then when you book 1, you're going to run into issues like I did. Start to focus on building your value over discounting your prices.

Okay. Work things into your contract. I am not any sort of legal expert. But your contract should provide for things like creative. Interpretation and things like that. If there's anything that you run into specifically that is more of like a legal contractual thing, you want to be covered in your contract. And then even some silly things too, like I've never really dealt with this in my own business. But I see on a lot of boards people will say that their clients aren't feeding them dinners or they're getting like a cold, old ham and cheese sandwich that's just not going to carry them through the night. So we actually have in our contract that we since we do not leave their wedding, we require a hot meal for the number of people who will be on site for their wedding. So things like that, you can put all sorts of stuff in your contract. It just really honestly helps you create more communication with your clients, which is always, at the end of the day, going to serve everybody in the process. The more we can all be on the same page, the better. And again, we can't assume that everyone is going to read the contract in its entirety, but at least you can refer back to that if you ever need to. 

Okay. So I hope that this helps. I hope that this kind of helps you if you've dealt with a bad client situation in the past, this should hopefully give you the tools to to make the best of it and to build your business stronger.

Next week I am going to talk about what to do if you're dealing with a red flag client right now, how to know if it's actually an issue that needs to be addressed, and then how to address it in a way that really helps build a stronger relationship, instead of one that turns into an issue. 

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