18. Managing Difficult Clients and the #1 Step to Prevent Them

In last week's episode, I shared about the nightmare client who changed my business. I talked about the process that I used to make positive changes after the fact, and 4 lessons that you can take and turn a difficult situation into 1 that ends up being really beautiful for your business and your clients. So that was all about what to do after the fact, after you've had a difficult client situation. In this episode, I'm going to help you screen for red flag clients in advance and give you some tips on how to handle them if you've got one currently.

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Transcript

In last week's episode, I shared about the nightmare client who changed my business. I talked about the process that I used to make positive changes after the fact, and 4 lessons that you can take and turn a difficult situation into 1 that ends up being really beautiful for your business and your clients. So that was all about what to do after the fact, after you've had a difficult client situation. In this episode, I'm going to help you screen for red flag clients in advance and give you some tips on how to handle them if you've got one currently. 

Let’s face it, most of us would rather be making art than running a successful business. But here's the thing. We can 100% do both. If you want a creative business that you and your clients adore and that supports the life of your dreams, you're in the right place. My name is Erica Ewing, and I'm here to challenge you to define your best life and then to cheer you on as you build a business that supports just that. Welcome to the Successful Creatives podcast.

The conversation of red flag clients has come up a lot lately, and it makes sense because right now is peak season. We're in the thick of it, right? So we're working with a lot of people. Most of them are going to be amazing. Most of them are going to be really awesome, especially if you're branding is dialed in. But this is also the time that those difficult or red flag conversations start to pop up into our worlds.

So today I'm going to share a couple of real stories, including when I told a couple during a wedding consultation that they were red flags, and how the rest of that convo went. I'm also going to tell you about a flip side experience of when I was treated like a red flag client and what they missed in the process. My studio is more of a high touch, low volume studio, except for post-pandemic. I've been in the position where I've shot 30 weddings a year at a lower price point, and that wasn't where I wanted to live. But we ended up there again in 2021 because of all of our postponed weddings from the Covid pandemic, and we were also there in 2022. So in 2021, in order to manage the workload without working 1,000,000 hours or making my clients suffer, we hired an assistant. So we have a studio assistant, she stayed on with us since then, she’s amazing. She handles all the things that are not my forte, like email and scheduling and all of like the admin stuff like that. I was also looking into outsourcing editing because we had, again, like 30ish weddings that year, and it was definitely more than I could handle. We also launched an associate team.

I did a lot of research on editing, on outsourcing, editing in different companies that were out there, and I found a couple that I really liked their aesthetic. I scheduled a call with one of them and I was really excited. I was so excited because this was something I had been debating about for a while, and I was finally ready to do it. I felt like this was a way for me to not only get help managing my client workload (to be able to turn pictures around faster), but also to really work with someone who's an expert in editing and was going to help me up-level. I think every time you spend money on your business, you want to think about what it can do to save you time, or bring in more money. But also how can they help you up-level your business and just make the overall experience better for your clients and just make you a better creative. So to me, outsourcing was all of these things, and I was super excited. I hopped on the call with this couple and they were lovely. But they dove into the logistics of hiring an outsourcer. So how you're going to upload your files and anchor images. It was very super logistical, like how to submit what the turnaround times were going to be, how the fee structure worked. It was really geared.

The conversation was geared towards someone who had outsourced before. She assumed that I knew the basics, and while I’m a very seasoned photographer, I’m not a seasoned outsourcer. Right?! At the end she asked, do you have any questions? And Blink? Blink? I did not have any questions. I was a little bit overwhelmed by the information she provided me, so what I needed most was just a little bit of time to process and then start to think about how I could start sending my weddings to her. She had sent over a follow up email, and I responded with a question. I just looked through my email to try and see if I could dig this out, just to read it back to you guys, but I couldn't. It wasn't in my inbox, but basically I asked a question about anchor Images now because one thing that I do for my clients is I create a highlight of 50 to 100 of my favorite pictures from the day, and I get those over to them within 2 to 3 weeks of their wedding. This way they've got a beautiful overview of their entire wedding day. They also can feel comfortable knowing that their pictures are going to be gorgeous and amazing, and that the full gallery is going to come and fill in all of the story. So this was sort of like anchor images.

I was kind of saying, this is what I already have ready. Does that work for anchor images? And also by the way, if your editors want to color edit any of the anchor images, will they do that? If they notice that my colors are off? Will they update them? That's a very simple question. Right?! But the response that I got back was very lengthy, probably a couple of pages long if I was to print it out. She explained the importance of anchor images, which she didn't really go over that thoroughly in the call we had. I understand it's a reference point for someone who's going to be efficiently editing your images, to be able to see how you want your images edited, and they'll basically copy your style along the way. It totally makes sense. It's actually what I do right now for my assistant. She supports me with editing, we've got a collaborative approach over here. Now I am working in a way that's almost still in house, but it's almost like it's outsourced because it's not me doing all of the editing. I still fine tune everything and I still review everything. But my assistant does the heavy lifting when it comes to that stuff, and I see the importance of reference images. But it wasn't made entirely clear to me in that first call, because she was talking more about the logistics of submitting files and turnaround times and fees and rush charges and things like that.

So she writes this long outline of the importance of anchor images. And no, they won't be changing like the color balance of my anchor images. They will be using that to edit the rest of the gallery and thank you for your interest, but we no longer feel you're the right fit by. I was like, wait, what? I’m literally trying to give you so much business. Like thousands and thousands of dollars worth of business. I was looking for a partner in this, and I really wanted to understand the process. It would have been a super simple question, like question and answer. But she read into my question more. She heard more than what I was saying and she flagged me as a red flag, when I just needed more clarity. The reality is, she had a really weak booking process. That's a whole other topic that I love to talk about. She assumed I was going to be a difficult client. I was looking for a partner. I was looking for someone who would learn my style and know it better than me, because I wanted to outsource those 30 post-Covid weddings, but also years and years of future business. I wanted a collaborative partner, a consistent edit, true to our style is so important to me.

I was honestly like, I mentioned ready to invest 10’s of 1,000’s of dollars over the course of the next few years. But she didn't take 10 minutes to ask me more about what I was asking, to really get clear on what my question was in the intent behind my question. So she missed out on a huge piece of business. I wanted to share this story with you, because now I've since taken that outsourcing, and I insource. I spend 10’s of 1,000’s of dollars to have an assistant who, as part of her job, does this for me. We use reference images in-house and the whole process makes perfect sense now. So I see that I would have been a really great client for her if she had spent 10 more minutes explaining things to me, maybe even hopping on another call to just make sure I was really clear, she would have had a long term client. So I wanted to share this because I see posts on Facebook groups amongst photographers and creatives, they're sharing about questions that clients are asking. And so often it's a very neutral question, but as creatives we are so emotionally and spiritually tied into our work that sometimes in a question can feel offensive, right? Even though it's very neutral from our client's perspective, we can make it. We can let it mean something that it doesn't actually mean.

So I wanted to bring this up as we're talking about red flag clients, because it's really important to understand that in order to truly know if your client is a red flag or not, we have to break through any assumptions that we're making, and really be aware of any assumptions that we're making or any thoughts that are bubbling up. We have to 1st be aware of them, and then ask the questions that are going to dig in deeper, so we can understand if we're truly on the same page as our client, or if we're not. If we're making assumptions, then we can create a red flag client that's not even there, or we can miss out on massive pieces of business that would have been so beautiful and beneficial for us and for our clients if we're not really clear. 

Okay. So now here's the story about when I had a wedding consultation, and I told a couple that they were red flags. I literally used that term. Oh, well, what you're saying right now is kind of red flags. Why? Because I am very, very honest and upfront about really everything in my life. But definitely when I'm booking a new client, I want there to be no confusion at all about what they're getting when they hire me, what they can expect to receive as an experience, as an outcome, all of that. Because the more clear that we can be with our clients, the happier everyone will be, the more aligned expectations will be and the better fit you'll have in terms of not attracting clients that are going to be difficult for you.

I have a very thought out detailed booking process. It's exactly what I teach in my Super Attractor Academy. It has completely transformed my business in terms of I have a nearly 100% booking rate and my clients are just all magical human beings. I love talking about my clients because they are literally the best humans, and a big part of this is because of my booking process. During a recent consultation, I was talking with this lovely couple and they were checking all of my boxes, my ideal client boxes, and it was all going really well, we were 100% on the same page. Then the groom asked a mic drop question. He said something along the lines of, can we collaborate with you on the edits after the wedding day? Hell no. This is a hell no for me. There is no collaboration on the edits. Part of the reason is because I've had that happen before, where people have asked if we could, if they could have a say in the edits. What that ended up meaning was that they weren't fully in love with my style. They were maybe looking for something different and it didn't really work out that well.

So no, this is an area where I do not negotiate. If you want to work with us, then you have to love our style. I think that's really important with any wedding, you know, not even just the wedding industry. But like anyone, anywhere, if you're hiring a service provider, you have to really like their work, right? So he asked if they could have a collaboration in the edits afterwards. I said no. Kindly explained my process, and then I asked a question to get more clarity because I wasn't entirely sure what it was about my edits that he was having trouble with or that he was asking about. Because having a collaboration on the edit process is a really big question. That could mean a million different things, so if there's any sort of doubt in mind, ask the question. So I asked, I said, that's kind of red flag, what do you mean? He ended up telling me that they had certain insecurities about themselves. Things like double chins, a little belly pooch, stuff like that. Well, that is a whole different conversation. He meant when he said editing, he meant retouching, right? Because I asked the question and I got more clarity on exactly what he was asking about, I was able to explain to him how I look for double chins and I look for belly pooches.

Oh God, I've got them myself. Every one of my clients that comes to me is worried about having a double chin in the photo. Same, same. So I was able to talk about my posing style and how I look for that sort of thing, and how I shoot through the moments so that I can grab the most flattering. That's a really important part of my brand. If you're looking through my portfolio, you won't really see double chins. You won't see belly pooches, my work is very natural, but it's also very intentional to get people to be comfortable but also flattering angles. So we talked about posing and then I did also say after the fact, we do include retouching on album images. Then if there's something that you want beyond what we've done, you can always add on additional retouching. It's an hourly fee, that’s something that you can definitely add on. But like I've got you, I don't want you to worry about that. You let me worry about that. That's a totally different conversation than feeling like they're going to be trying to edit my colors or my tones or, you know, black and whites to color versus whatever. That's a very, very different conversation. I could have easily written them off as a red flag because of that. Because to me, that was that initial question was a really big deal. But when I dug into it, it wasn't actually even what they meant. 

So often, red flags or difficult clients really just come from a lack of clarity and a lack of communication. So if you're dealing with a difficult client right now, let me give you just 3 takeaways on what you can do now to improve the situation. It can feel completely overwhelming or almost catastrophic to have a client that you feel like you're not jiving with, or if things are even worse than that, it can feel like it's going to tear down your business. I promise you it won't. Every problem has a solution, and really getting to it is taking a step back, trying to remove yourself, remove the emotion from it, and see things from your client's perspective. Challenge yourself to really look at it very neutrally. I heard this 1 time and I really liked it, it was every time you read an email, read it with a smile, almost like a laugh. It's funny how that will change the tone. Really think about all of the communications that are coming in your way in either neutral or almost like a positive tone, and just see how you can serve your clients and give them a really beautiful experience while also standing true to who you are. Here are the 3 takeaways.

# 1, set boundaries. This one is really, really critical. This is something that you get to reset any time. So even if you've gone down a bad rabbit hole with a client, you have the chance to pull back and reset boundaries if you need to. Let me give you an example of this. Before I started my photography business, I worked in real estate. I no longer text clients, since I've started my photography business over a decade. I don't text, so you do not have to text your clients. I learned this important lesson because when I was in real estate, I used to have panicked buyers who would text me at midnight. They would text me at 5 a.m. They just felt like they could connect with me at any point in time during the day. It was really stressful to me, it was really overwhelming and it was really stressful. I didn't have boundaries in place then, and so your worst clients will help you set the most beautiful boundaries. So that's why I no longer text. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't text, but I use that story to provide an example of how you can set boundaries. Even if it feels like it's not the norm, it's totally okay. If you're in the middle of an icky situation, just take a step back and reset boundaries and make it really clear what your boundaries are. If you have to remind, then remind, okay, hold them accountable because you're also holding yourself accountable to.

# 2, be so incredibly clear with everything you do. Be proactive in your communication. So along the way, working with my clients, they know exactly what is coming and when. I'm constantly telling them after their wedding that they can expect this in this time frame. The more information that you can give your clients along the entire way on what to expect, timing for things. Super clear contracts should be all buttoned up in line, outlining everything, communications, emails, everything should be very, very clear. If you have a conversation over the phone, feel free to just recap it in an email. I just feel like it's always good for people to hear things multiple times. We'll send policies multiple times. Be so crystal clear in your communications. The goal is to answer any and every question before they even have a chance to ask it. This is a really good way to know if you're being clear and proactive enough is anytime a new question comes up a couple of times, add it to the list of things that you address before clients even have to ask. They're going to feel so taken care of, and it's going to save you the headaches of having to put that stuff into place over and over and over again.

Then lastly, # 3 is to to have an empathetic ear. At the end of the day, everybody just wants to be heard. Just refuse to take it personal because it's always more about them than it is about you. Small issues often turn into big problems when we feel the need to defend. When really what we should be doing is listening. So let me give you a new example that just came up for me.

I have a pretty incredible mini session process in my own business, and it generates a lot of repeat clients and I love it. My clients love it. So this year, I turned that into a program to help other photographers who have not had successful mini sessions, or who maybe have never even started them because they don't know where to start. I created a program that just bundles it all up and basically gets photographers mini sessions set up within an hour. I was running some Facebook ads and Instagram ads for this, and a photographer saw it, he commented in the ad that this was just another 1 of those click baits. First I was like, what? It’s so not. Now the ad was for a free guide to running profitable mini session events, and I honestly feel so passionate about mini sessions. I’m constantly telling the photographers around me that they should be running them, and I run them in a very specific way, I gave all of that away. 

This free guide is fire. I should be charging so much money for it. It gives away my entire framework. But I gave that piece for free. Then I made a quick start guide for any photographer who loves the idea. They already know they're familiar with my entire framework if they want to launch it ASAP, so they'll be set up within an hour without the tech overwhelm, they could purchase an upgrade. So free guide upgrade to get it done super fast. This is the result of years and years of testing and refining of my mini session processes in 20 + hours of work, to create a succinct kit that photographers can buy for very little money. It's literally plug and play every template, every tech setup, so much value. Now, I could have been really offended when he said it was clickbait. I could have deleted his comment. But the thing is, I knew that my free guide had so much value in it that I wasn't offended. My ego could have easily said, like, this guy's a jerk. He has no idea how much went into this, blah blah blah. As creatives, I feel like we always want to defend our time and our knowledge and all of that. But I don't know his story,  I don't know why he posted that, I don't know what the driver was behind his message.

If I had to assume, I would probably assume that he's downloaded a whole bunch of other freebies in the past, and they gave him no real value. So he's just jaded by modern marketing. Fine, nothing to do with me. So instead of deleting his comment or being offended, I asked for his perspective. I responded to his comment and I asked if he read the free guide. And he elaborated. He told me more about why he thought it was click bait, and I thanked him for his feedback, explained in more detail the difference from the free guide in the optional support upgrade, and that he didn't need the upgrade to get the results. It would just get him there faster. Then I asked again if he read the free guide. Now, instead of him breeding me on social media, we were having a thoughtful conversation. It really started to change from like, pitchforks and claims of clickbait to just me, and me and a dude online having a conversation. By his 3rd post, because we had gone back and forth in comments, he was thanking me for hearing him, and he did tell me that he hadn't read the free guide yet, but was planning to that afternoon. Okay. Side note on freebies, I've found that if I download something for free, it always ends up on my, let’s look at this later list. I honestly personally get way better results when I pay for something someone said along the way.

Pay to pay attention and that’s 100% true. So if you've downloaded a lot of freebies and you haven't had a transformation, take the chance on yourself and invest in that next step because this will excel your growth far beyond that investment. Okay, side tangent back to my friend on Facebook who hadn't even opened the free resource that he was angry about. When you get into it with a client or a venue or an angry little bird on social media, you have a choice. In my situation personally, I was actually in the middle of rebooking a cancelled flight to Nashville, which was supposed to fly out the next day when I saw his message. I was completely stressed out. It would have been so easy for me to be mad or offended. I was already in an elevated stress situation. I could have argued with him. I could have defended myself. I could have deleted his comment, or I could have just removed my ad altogether and just said, fuck it. Like this is stupid if people think this is clickbait. But we have a choice, and this is what I really want to make super clear to you. You have a choice. Whenever you have a client situation pop up to get really curious, to hold an empathetic ear, to keep a non-judgmental neutral space for them to ask more about what they're saying, to make sure you fully understand them, and also to know that there's room for us to improve and for our clients to improve to.

I just really want you to be comfortable that your business will always be evolving to the next, better version. So if you're dealing with something icky right now, just know that this is going to help you grow. Nightmare clients, help us get better.

So to recap, if you are going through it right now with a red flag client, with someone who is stealing your joy, or things aren't going as smoothly as you'd like. Do these 3 things. # 1 set boundaries and reset. Remind and enforce as needed. Be the squeaky wheel for yourself in your own business. Have very clear communication, everything from your emails to your contracts. Ask questions to get clarity on things that you're unsure of. If you feel like you're making an assumption, feel free to ask, is this what you mean? That's such a super simple question, and I think it opens opens a door for your clients to be really fully honest. The more honest they are, the better your business and you will become for it. Keep an empathetic ear. Life is hard right now. People are more stressed than ever. People are more alone than ever. There's a way to run a beautiful, thriving business while treating those who might not fully get it with kindness and grace. Because it's not about you, it's about them.

By the way, if you want that free mini session guide, go to the-ewings.com/minis. It's my entire five figure framework. It's how I sell out in just hours with clients who are happy to invest more, while I give my clients a huge win in a great experience. Then, if you want the quick startup kit to get set up in under an hour, I'm talking email templates, automated scheduling in the tech setup done with ease. Grab that quick start kit on the thank you page and you'll be set up in like an hour. Easy peasy.

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