25. SQUIRREL! 3 tips to ditch the stress & get more done

Marketing and sales are my jam. But organization, and productivity? Let’s just say I’m a work in progress.

Luckily I met THE expert in this area, NJ Shelsby who sat down to give me some tips on how to get more done, with less stress. 

You see, she was overworked and stressed that it disrupted her family and health so much that she experienced a scary bout of short term memory loss.

“I was driving to a doctor’s appointment and I couldn’t remember how to get there. As in, I’m driving around for 10-15 minutes and have no idea on how to get there. And it was very scary and when I got to the doctor’s office, he was panicked for me.”

Her doctor told her “you have to take immediate steps to reduce your stress level.”

If you’ve been feeling stressed or disorganized, or get to the end of your day and wonder where the time went, never quite making  enough progress on your business - you’re not alone. 

Check out these stats:

• Internet usage in the workplace accounts for а 40% loss of productivity (ohhhh, we know the scroll!)
• Work overload decreases productivity by 68% (so wait, the more work you have, the less gets done?! Oof)

Here are 3 quick tips to increase productivity:

     1.  Absolute clarity - what’s important RIGHT NOW.

     2.  Focus leak boundaries - identify things that steal your focus and set boundaries during your “work times” like turn email notifications off, close tabs, silence your phone, etc.

     3.  Structure your schedule around your most productive times:
                a. Deep think times - like big projects
                b. Shallow focus times - like emails, editing, etc.

NJ shares the free software she’s using now to help her get organized and increase productivity, and does a little live coaching that will undoubtedly help.

Connect with Erica
@theewingsstudio

Episode blog post

Connect with NJ
www.njshelsby.com
Free Training with NJ
Get out of overwhelm

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Transcript

It's hard to stay focused on the right things. And I know that your programs are teaching people; here's the things to do to build your business, and they need to be able to focus on those things.  Sometimes it's not just knowing what to do, but being able to cut out the distractions, to be able to actually focus on doing those things.

Let's face it, most of us would rather be creating art than running a successful business, but we can 100% do both. My name is Erica Ewing. I'm a wedding photographer in sales and marketing expert for creative entrepreneurs. I'm here to help you define the life of your dreams and create a business that supports just that. Welcome to the Successful Creatives podcast.

If you have questions about sales or marketing growing your wedding business, I am the person for you. But if you have questions about productivity, about staying consistent, about maintaining a certain level of focus, that's something I'm still growing at. I’m thrilled to welcome a special guest to today's episode. I've got NJ Shelsby with me. She’s a productivity coach, and I had the opportunity to meet her at an in-person event recently and knew that immediately you had to hear from her. If you struggle with procrastination, lack of focus, distractions, shiny object syndrome, then this is the episode for you. 

NJ welcome! I remember when we chatted at BBD, I was like, I need you in my life and my people just need to hear from you. Can you tell me how you got into this, how this is your expertise? Because it's so interesting to me.

I've always loved productivity. I think it was in my early 20s that I attended a Franklin Covey seminar, which was productivity training at the Franklin Planner and you set your goals and all of that kind of stuff. I fell in love, and I religiously followed the Franklin Planner, even when I was a stay at home mom, I had, you know, this purse that was my Franklin planner and I had everything all organized out. I've always loved it. Then in the corporate world when I went back after being a stay at home mom. I found myself just totally overworking to the point that, 1 time I came home from work late, late at night, everyone was asleep and there was a note on the table from my son. Mom, how come I barely ever see you anymore? Even now, all these years later, it just breaks my heart, and that's like my one regret, right? That I worked so hard that I missed out on that time.

How old was he when he sent you that note?

He was about 11, I think. Another thing that happened right around the same time, was that I was driving to a doctor's appointment and I couldn't remember how to get to the doctor's appointment. I don't mean just, like, a little oh, where is that again? I mean, I'm driving around for, like, 10 or 15 minutes. I have no idea and I have to call to get directions on how to get there and it was very scary. When I got to the doctor's office, the look on the doctor's face when I told him what happened, I mean, he was just like panicked for me and he was so serious and was like, you have to immediately take steps to reduce your stress level. Now, at that time, I was working 80 hours a week, and so I was like, okay, this has to change. So I quit my job and I started coaching and I was doing life coaching, and I realized that I was still working long hours, it wasn't the job driving me, but it was kind of like who I was. Now it wasn't like going to the office and working, you know, as a business owner. It was like I was in my office all the time. So there was even more possibility to work. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, so it was like, okay, I can't just keep working like this. I have to reduce my hours. That's when I really started studying productivity. Seriously, even though it was something that I was always interested in. Now it was like, okay, I need to figure out how to reduce my hours. So between studying personal development and productivity, I learned things about how the brain works and how to make changes and habits and stuff like that.

So I was able to figure out how to change my identity as someone who was an older worker into somebody who had more work life balance. And so about 10 years ago, I switched from life coaching into helping. I primarily work with women. I find that it's a common thing for women to struggle to balance raising a family and work. I kudos to the women who are totally happy being 100% stay at home mom. You know, great. Kudos to the woman who wants to just have a career and not have kids. Hey, that's her choice. But there are those of us who want both, and it’s a struggle to do them both well. But I think that you can. Today, the world that we live in with all of the digital distractions, and you've got these companies who are paying people with who are studying neuroscience to make their apps very sticky and addictive and stuff that we need help in order to break free of that. So I like helping women, especially business owners, because I think the pool is even harder for business owners because you feel like, oh, I have to answer these emails and be on social media and do all the things right. So to help them to just, you know, get the boundaries up, get the clarity, be able to focus better so that they don't have to work as hard to make their business a success so that they can focus on the right things so that their success doesn't come at the cost of relationships, health, sanity. And that's what I love to do.

So all of that resonates so much. And I actually feel like that it would resonate too with those other women who are the stay at home mom and still feel overwhelmed. Because I do have friends who don't work a 9-5 or have their own business, and they're still feeling like I’m just running. From the moment I get up to the moment I go to sleep, or women who are like, I feel like this is a universal struggle nowadays, I mean, probably everybody in particular, but definitely with women just feeling all of these pulls. I have a few questions for you based on what you were talking about. # 1 is about your autoimmune disease, because I also have one too. Do you think that your autoimmune disease was triggered by stress?

Yes, yes, I've studied extensively on autoimmune diseases and they talk about 3 components. There's a genetic component, which means that you're susceptible, but it doesn't mean you're going to get it. Then there's the leaky gut component, which is 1 of the 3 legs of the stool. Then the 3rd, there's a triggering event. Some people it could be Lyme disease, Epstein Barr virus, or, you know, something like that. I do believe that mine was chronic stress.

Yeah, that's where I think mine came from too. We had a really, really tough year in 2019 that was like the snowball that turned into an avalanche. That was our 2019. And at the end of that year, I walked away with an autoimmune disease, you know. So I totally agree. That sounds like that was 1 of the things, maybe the main thing that made you say like, okay, I need to get this under control.

I think that because my identity was as the hard worker, like if, you know, if someone else was going to work, you know, 50 hours, I was going to work 60, you know, like I had this thing to prove. Right. And so I don't think that just being diagnosed, the mental like, oh, I have to do this. I think it's more that my autoimmune disease does not allow me to overdo it, that if I overwork for any period of time, I'll feel it, I'll go in, I'll hit depression and I'll have to spend a couple of days in bed and literally do nothing. So it's kind of like that gate check, which I come to feel grateful for, because I think that if I didn't have that, I would have never changed. I would still be going, going, going, going, going. I see friends that are like that. They just have no idea how to turn off and how to relax. And I used to be like that, so this is kind of my my little gatekeeper that says up. You're pushing it too hard. You have to take a rest.

Right, right. Okay. I would say you identified yourself as an over-worker, right? I definitely struggle with productivity in that way, that I don't necessarily feel that gatekeeper. Like some days I will be so incredibly productive, and then I'll be exhausted the next day and get nothing done. That leaves me in a place where I feel very reactionary a lot of times. So I'm working on the thing that's due that day. Do you have any advice on how to, like make that shift to. I know it comes down to discipline, like becoming disciplined to do the things proactively so that you can get out of that, like fight or flight of the response mode.

Yeah, true. But I think that, I mean, imagine you're dieting. You wouldn't have a plate of brownies on your desk all day long, right? Because, yeah, it would be disciplined to not eat the brownies, but you're like, that would be insane to put yourself in a situation, to have to resist that all day long. Yes. And that's and that's kind of the world that we live in today. And so yeah, it does take some amount of discipline, but we need to also. Set ourselves up so that it's not an impossible feat for us to have that discipline. So I think that 3 things that I see that makes a difference. 1 is absolute clarity, that it's so easy today for us to just have this foggy idea of what we need to work on, and all these things are coming at us that all this clickbait and these sales letters that are like, oh, you should work on your YouTube channel. Oh, you should do social media. Oh, you should, you know, and so there's all of these things that are potential things we could work on. So we need to have crystal clarity of, okay, these are potentials for the future right now. What am I working on. What's important to me this week and then what's important to me today. The 2nd thing is putting boundaries to what I call focus leaks. So whether that's notifications on your phone, having them turned off, checking your phone constantly, having tabs open. I mean, there's just dozens and dozens of focus leaks that, you know, different people are more affected by other ones. So identifying what your focus leaks are and then putting boundaries in place so that they're not bothering you.

And then the 3rd one is about how you set your time up for you to be able to focus. There's deep focus tasks that you need to work on. And then there's the more shallow kind of tasks that take less time, creative energy, you know, replying to emails, that kind of thing, and separate those tasks out and setting aside time to focus. That is when your brain thinks the best, when you're less likely to have interruptions, you know, for you, it might be either before the kids wake up or after the kids are in school. You know, some people, they think best at night, but just finding that group of time that you can focus on those deep tasks and then having other buckets of time that you do those quick tasks. Because what I see people doing is they'll be wasting their quality thinking time doing stupid little things, you know, and then they're like, oh, why can't I get that done? Then there are and then in a time when there's a lot of distractions, a lot of things going on, they're trying to do the deep work because it's like, oh, I got to get this done now, you know? So just like being clear about. What works best for your brain and having buckets of time for both. And then in those buckets that when you do the work and if you do that, you don't, you don't need to work a 12 hour day, a 10 hour day. Like there are plenty of examples of people out there who grow very successful businesses. And they're working, you know, 4 or 5 hours a day. Well, if you take two 90 minute deep focus blocks of time. Then another hour that you're doing quick work, you know, like, you know, answering emails or whatever. Like you can really stay on top of things and do big things in your business. But when you're in that reactionary mode that you're trying to do it all right at the same time, then that's where things fall apart, because our brains don't have a good sense of time. And so they'll try to do everything at the same time. Then what you do is you find yourself like, oh, that's right, I have to do that. Oh, I forgot, I have to do that. And you're bouncing back and forth between things. And studies show that you can lose up to 60% of your time bouncing back and forth as opposed to, okay, I'm going to do project A that's done now. I'm going to do project B, that's done now I'm going to do project C, so you finish it so much faster that way. In fact, if we're bouncing around a lot of times we never even finish them because every time you change to something else. You know, just throw away all the work that you did on that other project and you have to start all over again and so that you can perpetually do that. But the secret is to stay focused on that 1 project where you either hit a milestone, or you complete 1 piece of the project, or if it's a shorter project, it's actually done.

Yes, I totally get that. For me, I waffle back and 4th between doing that on good days? So my most productive time is after the kids hop on the bus for the next several hours, I am good. That's when my brain is firing with all cylinders. I can think creatively. I can be very focused. Afternoon is when I'll do like emails or, you know, for photographers. There's a lot of photographers who listen to this podcast and do editing. That's a good time to turn off the brain, turn off the email. Because I think that's something where people get really hung up on is being in their email all day. And like you said, the notifications of the ping of another email and then you immediately go to that and then you're like, where was I?

Yeah. Yeah.

So doing that, like checking your email and this was big for me too, because I used to be that person who would have my email open. And I just wanted to be really responsive. And even if you only check your email twice a day, that's still very responsive.

Yes, yes. I have actually seen there are some creatives that I've connected with, will have an autoresponder that says, I'm mindful of how much time I spend in email, and I check emails once every 24 to 48 hours. I'll get back to you in that time. I really respect that too. 

Yes. I think everybody has so much respect for someone who puts up boundaries, especially if you're communicating clearly, communicating them like that. So I would suspect that on the days that you're focusing. You might be overdoing it. And that's why the next day you're like and can't and can't focus because you're depleted. So I would be very careful of, you know, and have boundaries in place that say, oh, you know what? I'm stopping work at this time. I'm taking these breaks and just being more kind to yourself and see if that helps.

Yeah, I think that you're right and it's probably because I've been in this cycle where I know I'm going to have down days. So on my productive days, I feel like, oh, I'm being productive right now. I am in the flow. Yeah, I'm going to get it all done right now. Or a lot of times what I do is I'll get several things 80% done. Yeah, yeah, I feel so good about it. I'm like, all right, I got all of these things almost done, and then I walk away and so much time passes before they are fully done, and then it feels like such a huge task to finish it.

Yeah. So one thing I would recommend is instead of getting 2 things 80% done is to get 1 thing 100% done.

Yeah, I think I'm going to use this as a good reason to sort of structure my day a little bit differently in that I'm going to choose one thing a day. That's like my core work. The thing that I want to get done.

And then when that's done. Feel gratitude for having taken the time to do it. And then also, you know, maybe even think of it as a reward or reward where like, my kids get home at three and I can just sign off and yes, skiing with Cooper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Imagine that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm sure I would. I'm sure at the end of the month I will have so much more done.

Okay, so I'm going to challenge anybody who's listening if you have the same productivity struggles where you feel reactionary, you feel like you work in productivity cycles to do this challenge. Maybe we can even make it like a 30 day challenge, set one month for yourself and just choose one big task that you're going to complete every day. Obviously, it has to be manageable for that day, right? So maybe if it's a really big task, you might need to chunk down more specifically right into certain days.  And then see how much we've gotten done in a month.

Yeah I mean think in terms of projects, you know some things are like routines say um invoicing or something like that. Right. And routines, it's better to have a time when your calendar, you know, once a month I'm going to, you know, and have it as a recurring thing on your appointment. But the other things that have a completion, those are projects. And we should never be working on more than like a total of 5 to 7 projects at a time, including personal life. So planning a trip to Paris, that's a project, right? Yeah. You know, if you're, you know, remodeling your bathroom, that's a project or planning a party for somebody that's a project. And so in our business, um, you know, like now your podcast is established. So that's more of a routine. But if someone is starting a new project that's a project of learning about how to do it and getting that first, you know, podcast episode done and up and stuff like that. So any kind of marketing that you're looking to do in your business, once it's established, it's a routine. But learning a new one is a project. And so there are stopping points that, um, you know, the trip to Paris, right? Like, oh, these are things that I can do. And then I'm waiting for information back. Um, you know, I need to have a conversation with my husband for him to give his input on where we're going to stay or, you know, hey, I'm going to wait for the flights to come down or I'm going to wait until Tuesday. They say that's the best day to buy flights, you know, so, you know, so there's active projects and then there's waiting and then there's next up.

Right. So when you're in a waiting period on a project, you can kind of move it off into that waiting bucket. And then these things that we want to do, but we already have these active projects that we're working on. We just kind of keep track of them over here in the next. And then when you complete something, you can move it over there. But in a day, right? You want to look at what those active projects are and like, okay, what project am I going to work on today? You know, what am I going to do to move forward? And then being clear like, no, like what are the steps to completion that I need to go through? Then instead of it just being this random like, oh, okay, I'm working on it and I'm just doing a lot of research, know what the outcome is going to look like, you know, okay, I'm going to read, you know, I'm going to watch five YouTube videos about, you know, X, y, z. Um, you know, I'm going to, you know, right. I'm going to write, you know, a blog post on such and such or, you know, like very outcome oriented. That gives your brain. Boundaries and structure so that it's easier to stay focused because it kind of knows what you're looking for without that kind of, you know, plan for your brain as to what it what it's supposed to work on. That's where it's very easy to be like, oh, well, what about this? And oh, don't forget that. And yeah.

Do you have a software or a system that you like to use for those 3 categories?

Um, I've done a lot of different things. I'm in the process of trying to, you know, come up with a new way to work. But I've used a page in Evernote, I've used Excel. Um, I've used Notion, I've used paper, having it on a piece of paper that is right there. So it's really any way to do it. You just want those 3 little buckets, right?

Right. I like the idea of really breaking down the tasks too, because right now I have a lot of projects. When you were saying you really should combine thinking about your work projects with your personal life and your family and projects. I have projects galore between, like you were mentioning, planning our trip to Paris, and I just recently started planning a girls weekend to Charleston and then like staying on top of all my kids' things, all there. Like, there's so many projects in life. Yeah. I like the idea that that all gets added to one pool, because it does definitely take that brain space, right? Like it's like having tabs open, but in your brain.

Yes, yes and it's amazing. Yes, it is exhausting, but it's amazing how easy it is to get clarity when you write them all down. And then when you make a decision and you say, okay, this is going into the next up pile, this is going into the next up pile, you know, and you're like, okay, this one I can put in the waiting because I can't do anything until I hear back from the girls of what dates they're available, you know. Yeah. And just being able to offload and then getting okay, these 7 projects, these are the only ones that are active right now. You feel a lot more settled. You haven't lost any. I mean, you can't work on everything at once anyway. So it's an illusion to think, you know, and by limiting the number that you have as active projects, you'll actually make progress faster. You will actually complete things. This thing that we have that at the end of the day, we've been working our butts off but haven't gotten anything done. That's because we're bouncing around to all these different things and we're on social media. We're jumping from project A to project B to project C. A little bit of all of this and a month can go by and you've made no progress. Whereas if you stay focused on one project in three days, you can have it done right.

Right. So on my project I will list things like right now. I'm not doing a full website rebrand, but just a website update. And right now it's literally on my list as update website.

And then what happens is that actually means I have to go back to my portfolio, choose the images that I want to update. Yeah. Write the copy. Like all like all of those. So putting those line items in to get clarity on. Now I know that it's not just like the project is one thing technically, but there are 30 steps that have to get done, right?

Exactly.

Then what does that look like across the week or month?

Yeah, and if you have an update website on your task list, your brain doesn't know what to do with that. So it just kind of spins and it distracts you with something over here that's achievable. Like, oh, I'll check email. I will, you know, do some other very small, insignificant thing that I can check off as done, even if it's not important. But hey, I got a dopamine hit because I did a check mark. Yeah, the check marks are so satisfying.

NJ yes. Yeah, but if you have that project list and then for each project you have, you know, a page that's like, okay, update website and you just think through, what does that mean? What do I have to do? What is the 1st thing that I have to do? Well, I have to count up how many images I need and then I need to go find, you know, 12 images or whatever, and just list it out. Then when you're planning your day, you go to that project and you're like, okay, here's what this takes to get this project done. Which of these am I going to get today?

Yeah and then you can make quick progress on a project.

Right. This has given me so much clarity because there's q thing that I struggle with on a weekly basis, and a lot of times it just doesn't get done. It's something that's in theory, so simple, literally just emailing my list. So I create a podcast, I create content that I know is going to be so helpful for my audience, and then I just get stuck and I have a hard time translating that into and sending out an email to people. It's something that seems so small, right? It's just an email. But I think listening to you talk about this, my brain almost gets stuck on like, okay, well, how am I going to translate? A 30 minute podcast down to an email that gives people like a couple of quick wins, and then if they want more, they can go listen to the podcast. But so it's really breaking down, even though it's as simple as an email, until that becomes a routine, treating it like it's a project, even though in theory it feels really simple, right?

Yeah yeah yeah yeah, and maybe your expectation is a little bit high like. Do you need to have them have quick wins in the email, or do you just need to get them, you know, curious that they want to check it out? Right. That might be a lot easier to do in an email, right, than go through so that they get quick wins from an email, right?

Yeah. Okay. So I like the idea of treating my emails until they become routine. I'm going to treat them like a project. Yeah. Write down all of my to do's that follow in that bucket to help guide my brain on what the project is. To decide when you're going to send the emails out, when you're going to write the emails that need to go out, and what formula you're going to use for the email. Right. Because you know, whether it's okay, I'm going to. Give a summary of the podcast and the quick wins. Or whether you're just okay, let me identify the pain points people are feeling that might get something out of this, that what we're answering and you just, you know, and you just do three sentences and a link to the, you know, whatever that format is. So maybe that would be your project of, getting clarity around what that's going to look like for you and how you're going to accomplish that.

Yeah, I like that. I'm going to try that.

Okay. Thank you.

Yeah. This has been really, really helpful. So you mentioned Franklin Covey when we first started talking and and having that planner in your pocketbook, do you have a favorite planner that you like?

No, I don't, and it’s actually a struggle for me and it is on my to do list as a project for me to develop my own, because nothing out there is working for me and I. I need a hybrid system. I love to write. I get it's more meaningful to me handwriting notes, but I love technology and I love, you know, being able to whip out my phone and put my finger on any information. I mean, like if my husband, you know, needed our 2020 taxes. In like 3 seconds, I can pull it out with my phone. It's kind of a sense of pride that I have that like, my son 1 time, he’s 35, and he asks me for his immunization records. Now he's 35, right? It's like how many mothers could put their hands on their son's immunization records? You know, like 34 years later. I did within, like, 5 minutes I was able to send it to him. So I need a hybrid system. So long story short, I am developing something that works for me, but now, I was transitioning from Evernote to Notion, and so I'm still working on that transition there. I have a kind of homemade paper planner that I use in order to take notes. But I'm creating a more formalized system of that. Stay tuned.

Okay. Well, that's what I will be looking forward to because I'm the same I have and I am constantly trying all different paper or paper planners. I love paper, but then I also love the ability of thinking about those 3 buckets. So right now I'm testing out click ups. Which I think is maybe similar to notion of trying to have something online where again, I can access it everywhere if I think of a task or a project or a to do that has to get added, I have somewhere where I can add that, I’m trying to come up with something that is more just a centralized location for all information.

Yes, and that's why I'm looking to create a system. Because there's tasks that you need to remember to do. There's active projects that you're working on. There's notes that are reference material. There's your daily notes of things that occur to you. So having a place to put all of it and ideally that they work together, for keeping track of tasks, I use Todoist. And so I use the Amazon Echo's and they're all through my house. When I think of something I need to do, I tell her to add it to my to do list. Then I have a connector that sends it into Todoist and then there's like this place that it's all captured, and I can look at it and like, okay, which of these am I going to actually work on today? Which are these? I'm just going to put it on a someday list. Which of these? I'm going to delegate that. So that's kind of what I do for that.

Yeah, that's great. I tried to do it for a little bit. I think I need to pick 1 that feels good enough. Until NJ creates her system and we can all have that the secret is something that’s easy to get stuff into. That's what you need. And so I don't carry my phone around with me, right. I'm just not 1 of those people. My house is two stories, so I can't like, oh, let me put that into my phone. That's why I have there's in every room of the house, no matter where I am, there is an Amazon Echo that can hear me say, add this to my to do list. So, you know, if you're someone that always has your phone on you and it's easy for you to do that, I would just look at being able to whatever you use, that you can make a connection so that it's really fast to add it in. Um, that it's not like, okay, let me find the app, let me, you know, open the app. And then I have to click because I don't know about you, but I will forget it before I get the app open and get to the enter screen. You know, so you just want to make sure that you do whatever you can to make it frictionless to get the stuff in there 100%.

Awesome. So where can people find more information from you? Because this was so helpful. And I know that, you know, as creatives, we generally tend to not be so organized and not be so good at staying on task. I hear all the time from students in my programs about how, you know, they have a hard time getting big projects done. I think that this episode is going to be really, really helpful for them. So I really appreciate just all of your guidance. Where can people follow along and find more about you?

Yeah. My website is a great place, NJshelsby.com. I have a video that they can get at NJshelsby.com/overwhelm where if they feel like their head is spinning because they have so many things going on. It's a great exercise to be able to clear their head and put things in some proper buckets to be able to better focus, because sometimes you might have the time to focus, but you're not able to focus because your mind is like worried about all the things and like, oh, well, what about this? And what about that? So you keep distracting yourself and it's a real quick and simple exercise. The video walks you through it so they can get that at NJshelsby.com/overwhelm.

Awesome. Excellent. Thank you so much. I'm going to link that in the show notes as well. So everyone can just click below and get NJ's video training there. Thank you so so much. I appreciate you and your expertise in your time very, very much.

Well, it was my pleasure talking with you and have fun in Paris. That's so exciting.

Thank you, thank you.

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